LaconicD at your service

We are always hungry.

2009-04-14T08:03:25Z

I CANT WAIT
for the final poetry journals to be done & be gone.
for me to finish my Art Portfolio.
for ALL AP tests to be OVER with.
for AP Calculus to be out of my life.
for my driving licenseeee.
for June & graduating HS, so done with it & its mediocreness.
for July--- Philippines aaaah.
for college, my goodness I am so ready for you.
for something really challenging...
that rather motivates me more than leaving me lazy as I already am.
for a better change.
for my Godot to come.
And after all of that is completed I know that I will never be satisfied... aaah
In all pleasures there is satiety that we are unable to accomplish at its fullest, thus leaving us famished. Hungry for more.
Oh, the reality of life. <------

So what is love?

2009-04-13T01:36:23Z

This is a direct copy from my tabulas =)

Well, I was reading the novel Song of Solomon then I came across the quote:

"You couldn't be selfish withsomebody you loved."

As usual, several questions, concept, and mindless thoughts came into my head...

Do we prefer to be the more knowledgable one, the one willing to wait for the 'someone' that we love, wish, or dreamed of, to gain the maturity we wanted them to achieve?
or
Are we better off to let that person go?

Do we prefer to be the childish one, whose innocence indirectly cause pain for the ones who may have love or have loved them, thus gain the easy route to move on?

Does our clinging to wait for that one a given proof to our love or rather our pride?

Yes, it is a test among one's patience and loyalty.
A test for one's passion and quality of emotions.
A path that one needs to decide upon no matter the consequences are.

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T10:26:33Z

Wow, 2009 na. Mahigit na 23 oras nalang dito sa America.

At nakakainis talaga. Ampangit.
Andaming awayan, layuan, batian, at iyakan.
Actually, hindi gaanong malala ang situasyon ko, compared sa iba.

Pero, sayang lang kasi. Nasasayangan ako.
Naiinis ako sa sarili ko. Wala akong magawa.
Walang pwedeng maigawa.

Hindi ko controlado ang lahat.
Ang taing naiisip kong paraan eh pabayaan ang lahat
bahala na ang oras. Bahala na syang tanggalin ang "sakit."

No, hindi sakit.

Tanggalin ang pakiramdam.

Hinde sakin, kundi sayo.

Baka sa susunod na buwan, taon, o baka matagal pa.
Sana lang makayanan ko.
At sana, sana lang
kahit hindi katulad ng dati, okay na sa akin.
Basta bumalik ka lang.
Parang hindi ko kayang mawala lahat ng inumpisahan natin.

Tanong ng bestfriend ko.. "Bakit daw ba ganun?"
hahaha nkakaloka preprehas ang problema namiiiiiing lahat!

Merry Christmas(:

2008-12-23T18:41:35Z

Malapit na ang pasko. Pero bakit ganun parang hindi pasko? Nakakatuwa kasi lagi kong tinatanong sa sarili ko yan.
Pero malakas rin ang trip ko. Araw araw pumaparty, gumagala.. laging may nagtatawag.
Medyo sumasaya ako. MEDYO LANG, pero pagbalik ko sa inuupuan ko balik nanaman ako sa umpisa.

Nagpapakaemo sa gilid ng kama, haha nakakabaliw.

Lakas ng agimat na ginamit mo, PROMISE!

5days.

2008-12-05T04:45:48Z

Alam mo na ayaw kong pinapaisip ako.
Yet ganyan ka.

Ang daya mo =(

Paramdam ka oh, PLEASE.

Dear totoy!

2008-11-19T07:07:22Z

Nababaliw ako.

Hay!
Ikaw kasi eh!
Flattered ako, sobra. Cge D, kaya yan.
Pero tama na rin siguro sila.
Kakapalan ko na ang aking mukha.

Hahahahahha
HAAAAAY KAHIT AKO NATATAWA ! :)
MWAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

BERTDAY!

2008-11-02T15:32:40Z

Birthday ko.

Hindi ko alam kung matatakot ba ako o matutuwa sa mga "unexpected" na nangyare.

=S hahaha!

Yan tuloy, nakatulog ako bandang 4 na.. at gising ng 730!?
At ngayon hindi ako makatulog.

Takte naman oh T^T

Selfless Love RAW!?

2008-10-28T05:50:47Z

And I was reading a novel written by Elizabeth McCracken, and I came upon this:

"I believe people fall in love based not on good looks or fate but on knowledge. Either they are amazed by something a beloved knows that they themselves do not know or they discover common rare knowledge; or they can supply knowledge to someone who's lacking."

and that is the optimistic perspective when it comes to finding love...

On the other hand, I also read this as I was rereading Kafka' Metamorphosis for the 3rd time:

That love ends up as a job, an occupation, for example when one you did love, "a member of a family, in spite of present pathetic and repulsive shape, [he] could not be treated as an enemy; that, on the contrary, it was the commandment of family duty to swallow their disgust and endure him, endure him and nothing more."

That once great sacrifices and conflicts are included in the equation of ohlove, then true nature of man & life is the answer... all emptiness, isolation, repression... overall insignificant?! So is love nonexistent then? But, as I finished Metamorphosis in the end, I learned that you can achieve Selfless Love (Love without asking anything in return) by reaching for the Truth, and maybe realizing how insignificant you are (how we are like the cockroach in society) but knowing how cynical we are, we will ask, "Who wants selfless love!?"

I just thought that was some great insight ! It's funny how contrasting they are. Hahahaha

PLEASE LANG!

2008-10-22T05:52:04Z

shiet.

pagod na ako.
gusto ko nang matapos ang linggong ito!

*VENTILATE!!!!!!
---------------------------------------
Bzzzz. Bzzzzzz.
Dahil lagi mo akong pinapasaya... may utang ako sayo.

Ano kaya mababayad ko...

Natutunaw ako

2008-10-17T02:26:44Z

Ibang klase rin talaga ang tadhana oh.

Wala lang natutuwa ako sa ating dalawa. Pagkatapos ng 5th, lagi tayong sabay na nagtitinginan. Tapos nun, wala lang parang walang nangyari. Ganun nalang lagi. Pagsimula ng aking pagdadabog ng aking PhotoBinder at pagkatapos kong makuha ang kaybigatbigat na Calculus Book ko, at pagnarinig mo na ang "BAM" pagtapos kong sipain ang locker ko ayun na. tantanaaanaaaaan! Ilang lakad lang at ayun nanaman, tumigil ang mundo ng isang segundo, sabay napaisip na "Sandali, bakit tayo nagtitinginan?" (in English) tapos nagbalikan na tayo sa pagsosocialize sa mga tao.

Para tayong mga pipe.
Puro tinginan, wala namang salita.
Sige naman na Sanchez, magusap na tayo.

Because I like listing things.

2008-10-07T22:53:11Z

"What about taking this empty cup and filling it up
With a little bit more of innocence
I haven't had enough, it's probably because when you're young
It's okay to be easily ignored
I like to believe it was all about love for a child"

"The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up."

"Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again"

"Your love is like the sun
That lights up my whole world
I feel the warmth inside
Your love is like the river
That flows down through my veins
I feel the chill inside"

"Lift your head, baby, don't be scared
Of the things that could go wrong along the way
You'll get by with a smile
You can't win at everything but you can try.
Baby, you don't have to worry
'Coz there ain't no need to hurry
No one ever said that there's an easy way
When they're closing all their doors
And they don't want you anymore
This sounds funny but I'll say it anyway..."

AYE! I really need to start writing some sensible entries -_____-

Weekend at SF

2008-10-06T06:46:28Z

I really feel stupid, but..
It feels really good. To accomplish something REALLY big.

To freaking finish Dragon Force's "Through Fires and Flames" medium level in Guitar Hero!

fuck.
A weekend in San Francisco ~~and all I, no~~ we did was play rock band and guitar hero.
Watch my parents, and their parents cry as they see the current pop culture of teenagers today
Especially in Denise's debut party.(<--uh this needs to be an entry).
Plus, I barely did my homeworks. lalalalalala all nighter again. AMEN!

Welcome back to all nighters D :(

Trip lang!

2008-09-30T06:02:51Z

I love tragedy and deaths.

The "bloody sweet love" ending as Darlene says repeatedly.

The paradoxical endings behind everything.
How the antagonist doesn't need to do anything with his hands,
just with his bare mind.
How the protagonist follows and falls, stupidly.
How love is often satirical explained throughout.
How it boldly illustrate sexual imagery. <<---!!
How it compares every human beings to frogs goats monkeys
or just a plain animal.

but most of all..

How the evil man gets his last laugh in the end.
How the supposed hero dies tragically in the end.

Lost with Dual Lies.

Broken with thy own hands.

Unfulfilled, Unsatisfied.

Left without any answers.

A shift of phase to an insane mad man.

And the beauty behind their deathbeds. (<--- beauty!?)

tangina ka shakespeare -_______-

well on the good side, their deaths are not as insane as Ms. Hedda Gabler.

PS: Shoot its 11pm & I haven't started anything. mwahahahah.

Because I'm hungry :))

2008-09-24T02:45:44Z

Our eyes must be fed

To give us the satiety

To relish

Our appetites full

With rich flavors.

To Abuse the tenderness of meat.

To Heave.

To Gorge.

To Unrelish

oh dearrrrr.

Annotating.

2008-09-15T09:58:12Z

"I feel
not wet so much as
painted and glittered
with the fat grassy
mires, the rich
and succulent marrows
of earth--a poor
dry stick given
one more chance by the whims
of swamp water--a bough
that still, after all these years,
could take root,
sprout, branch out, bud--
make of its life a breathing
palace of leaves." --- Mary Oliver

Oh Mary Oliver, even though I despise you for being assigned as the poet I suffer from my poetry journal, I adore how you transcend with nature, how you embody yourself, ourselves, with God's gift. Parallel man's characteristics of undying hope, as you perceive our hardships and sufferings with a Christ-like resurrection.

Thanks for your optimism and support towards individuals like me... drowning in your earthsoup swamp =)

3AM nukkahs.

Text.

2008-09-11T05:22:25Z

Bakit ba papansin ka?

Tatlong beses mong nakuha ang attensyon ko, simulang nabuksan ang power ng phone ko. Ako na nga tumitigil magreply, tas ayun nanaman! "Psssst" "Bakla" "Panget!" Dahil puro vibrate nalang naririnig ko, sya rereply na!

Ayan na ata laman ng inbox ko! Puro pangalan mo, nagmomorph na sa mata ko. Tange rin. Lakas mong manginis

A different kind of resurrection

2008-09-03T21:10:10Z

And now I will be laconic for once.
and I will try really hard.

:)